Have you heard the latest about my girlfriend Justin Bond, the gender-fluid star of NYC’s avant-garde cabaret scene?

In a revealing brand-new essay on her website, she announces some big changes in her life to conform with her transgender identity.  (I heard the scoop beforehand through the gay grapevine.)

First of all, she’s altering her name to the more feminine sounding Justin Vivian Bond.  Very grande-dame!

The clever performer has also brainstormed on newfangled, nonconformist ways to describe herself.  From now on her preferred prefix is Mx (pronounced “Mix”).  Her preferred pronoun is “V.”  How modern!

Also, Mx Bond has decided to start hormone treatments.

“Not to become a woman,” V writes, “But in order to actualize what I’ve always known myself to be—a trans person.  I want my body to be a declaration and physical manifestation of my transgendered spirit.”

In other words, Hello training bra!  Can’t wait to see your new jugs, Mx Thing!

Kidding!  I wish Justin Vivian Bond all the best as V travels down a brave and enlightened path of self-acceptance!

True to my word, I stayed in on New Year’s Eve.  But on 1/1/11 I was compelled to go out—I was hosting Le Bingo.

What to wear, what to wear?  I decided on party-girl attire, as if I was celebrating, uh, New Year’s Eve!   People probably thought I was still going strong on a bender.

Le Bingo turned out to be quite lively, and afterward I hit the town with spokesmodel Shaquanda Coca Mulatta.

So much for a head start on 2011!  Oh well, after spending most of today recovering, I’m pumped for a productive tomorrow!

Just in time for the new year, some good financial tips in the freebie newspaper AM New York from drag millionaire$$ RuPaul:

1) Invest in real estate.  (Besides the West Village apartment she just sold for $2.4 million, she owns another nearby.  Plus a house in L.A.)

2) Don’t spend money on “flashy crap” to impress others.

Here’s to a profitable 2011!  With RuPaul’s wise words to guide me, I look forward to purchasing property and tasteful goods, including a giant white Afro.

I used to be an elf and lived at the North Pole, making toys all day long.

I worked for slave wages and could not afford fancy elf clothes.

But being an elf, I was content and faced each morning with a smile on my face!

Just for kicks I donned a ninja reindeer mask for my past two Bingo gigs.  I thought it was rather whimsical, but one contestant though my “X” was a swastika!

I am not a Xmas Nazi, I swear!

I’m trekking to Minnesota, land of my birth, at Christmastime.

Although I visit fairly often, I’ve never done drag there.  And now would not be a good time to start.   The state was just hit with a massive snowstorm, making strutting in heels extremely challenging.

How on Earth does the local drag populace manage to cope?  MN’s queenly headquarters is the Gay 90s—the Midwest’s biggest gay club!—with a showbiz alumni that includes porn director Chi Chi LaRue and Bebe Zahara Benet, winner of the first season of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

I guess my MinneSNOWta sistahs either have to haul around all their apparel and get ready at their destinations, or else forge through the sleet and slush in full drag.  Such a stunning look—snow boots and a sparkly gown.

Thank goodness it doesn’t snow much in NYC.   I don’t own any practical snow boots and neither does any other drag queen I know.  Behold this classic photo I snapped of my pal Anna Conda:

Shortly after, Anna slipped on ice and cracked her skull.  R.I.P.

Kidding!  Nowadays she’s a fierce activist in San Francisco, where she never has to worry about stomping in the snow!