I used to be an elf and lived at the North Pole, making toys all day long.

I worked for slave wages and could not afford fancy elf clothes.

But being an elf, I was content and faced each morning with a smile on my face!

Just for kicks I donned a ninja reindeer mask for my past two Bingo gigs.  I thought it was rather whimsical, but one contestant though my “X” was a swastika!

With spokesmodel Miss Scott Lyons and a happy winner.

With spokesmodel Sylvia London and new pal Sinead.

I am not a Xmas Nazi, I swear!

I’m trekking to Minnesota, land of my birth, at Christmastime.

Although I visit fairly often, I’ve never done drag there.  And now would not be a good time to start.   The state was just hit with a massive snowstorm, making strutting in heels extremely challenging.

How on Earth does the local drag populace manage to cope?  MN’s queenly headquarters is the Gay 90s—the Midwest’s biggest gay club!—with a showbiz alumni that includes porn director Chi Chi LaRue and Bebe Zahara Benet, winner of the first season of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

I guess my MinneSNOWta sistahs either have to haul around all their apparel and get ready at their destinations, or else forge through the sleet and slush in full drag.  Such a stunning look—snow boots and a sparkly gown.

Thank goodness it doesn’t snow much in NYC.   I don’t own any practical snow boots and neither does any other drag queen I know.  Behold this classic photo I snapped of my pal Anna Conda:

Shortly after, Anna slipped on ice and cracked her skull.  R.I.P.

Kidding!  Nowadays she’s a fierce activist in San Francisco, where she never has to worry about stomping in the snow!

Two years ago at this time, I was in the midst of performing The Bad Hostess, a play I wrote and starred in, at La MaMa Theatre.

The black comedy is set on Christmas Eve.  As a blizzard rages outside, a drag diva’s party fizzles when the only revelers to show up are her caustic drag-queen neighbor, a coked-up club promoter and an uninvited young couple—she’s a showbiz wannabe, he’s studying to be—gasp!—a minister!

In the dressing room. Clockwise from top left: Linda Simpson, Erin Markey, Justin Christopher, Julie Atlas Muz (who directed), Chris Tanner and Flloyd.

Despite the hostess’s best efforts to keep things cheery—holiday punch, Bingo, Cheetos—the soiree deteriorates into a night of bitter family memories, despicable karaoke, and rants against God and religion.  Ah, the joys of Christmas!

With Flloyd on set, which was designed by Steven Hammel.

Putting on the play was a fantastic experience—the sort of satisfaction that you can only get from doing live theatre, darling!  And I’m happy to say that we got a great response!

If you’d like to watch the video, here’s Part One (out of a total of five on my Youtube Channel.)

I like this political action because it’s so wacky!

Next Magazine reports on a new and unusual wedding ceremony that occurs every Saturday at Times Square.   All the participants are drag queens—the bride, the groom and the organizer, Kitten Withuwip, who plays pastor.

According to Ms. Withuwip, it’s a way to help convince Middle American tourists that same-sex matrimony is A-Okay.

Ha!  Do you think the tourists will get the idea that all gay marriages are like this?

Kitten flanked by Azraea (left) and Frosty Flakes.

It’s certainly more colorful than the guy-guy and gal-gal weddings profiled in the NY Times!

Volunteers are welcome to get married.  Finally, it’s my chance to get hitched—to another drag queen…?!  I wonder if Lady Bunny is busy on Saturdays?  Gag!

Bravo to you, brave activist queens!  I’m definitely going to check it out!  Here are the details.

Boo hoo!  My friend Big Bill has officially moved back to his home state of Massachusetts to live in tré gay Provincetown, the resort community on the very tip of beautiful Cape Cod.  I visited him there this fall before he decided to give up his Jersey City pad forever.

Outside of P-Town

Our friendship will continue, but things ain’t gonna be the same around here without his cheery ways.

Video by Thairin