I witnessed the most horrible thing this morning as I was walking through Times Square.

On the corner was one of the many costumed cartoon characters who roam the area and pose with tourists for tips.

All of a sudden, some bratty hooligans ran up to him and ripped off his head!

It happened so fast I’m not even sure what his costume was.  I know it wasn’t Mickey Mouse or Spongebob Squarepants or the Statue of Liberty or Elmo or Hello Kitty.  He was wearing something blue…

Understandably, the poor guy was upset.  Like most of the costumed characters, he appeared to be an Hispanic immigrant.  I see them changing into their attire in the subway station.  They seem like nice people, just trying to make a buck at a job that doesn’t require much English.

I completely empathize with all of them—I also dress in silly garb for a living!  And just like the headless victim, I’ve experienced the trauma of having my upper costume torn off!

Once at the Roxy, some idiot drunk girl propped up on her boyfriend’s shoulders thought it would be delightful to rip my wig off.  I was so shocked I didn’t have time to push her over and break her skull.

Another de-wigging occurred at the Copacabana (the old, old one, at a Susanne Bartsch party) when a club kid in a ridiculously over-the-top outfit passed by and my wig got stuck on his headdress made of branches!  I had to go chasing after it, much to the amusement of my after-dark companions.

And once when I was working at the Cock, I scrunched down in front of the tiny stage to watch the performance.  Someone standing above me had Velcro sleeves…

Drag queen, guy in a cartoon costume—What’s the difference?  Both just trying to make a living and dealing with the particular and peculiar obstacles that come with the job.  Next time I see some jerks harassing my costumed hermanos and hermanas I’m going run after them and rip their heads off!