Let it be publicly known that I, Linda Simpson, disapprove of the following cultural developments:

*Comic character Archie is being killed in an upcoming issue, when he stops a bullet meant for his gay friend Kevin.

Gee whiz, what ever happened to comics being lighthearted? I used to love the Archie series as a kid, but how can I ever appreciate them again with this tragic gay twist? Bad publicity stunt!

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*Lawmakers want to crack down on Times Square’s costumed characters, because some of them are supposedly bothering tourists.

I live right next to Times Square and I’ve seen some of the characters be a bit uncouth as they try to get payment for posing for photos. But most of the tourists love the characters. As for those tourists that are bothered, well, maybe they should never ever leave their hotel rooms. New York is over regulated as it is, leave the costumed guys and gals alone!

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*Media goes crazy over kids left alone in cars in parking lots.

Yes, we get it, leaving infants in hot, suffocating cars is a bad thing. Not good. Now go report on some real news!