Author: Linda Simpson

  • Goodbye Pale Yellow Walls

    As I write this, my friend Steven is repainting my pad. It’s time for a change as I approach a big anniversary of living at my current address. Next month marks ten years! My yellow-beige walls served me well, but it’s on to another color scheme. A few memories…         I’ll reveal the new look soon!…

  • Fantasy #4

    “Please welcome very special guest Bruce Jenner,” said RuPaul. Bruce smiled bright from the judges’ table, then fixed his eyes on the runway. This week’s challenge was “Bikini Madness.” Pearl came out first. “Your thong looks ass-tatstic,” bellowed Michelle Visage. Damn right, thought Bruce. Underneath the table, he slid open the slit of his maxi…

  • A Bingo Gift from My Manager

    One of the managers from Le Poisson Rouge got me this present recently when he was shopping at a yard sale. I hope it’s not because he thinks it looks like me!     Anyway, thanks for the Bingo mascot, Brett!  

  • Fantasy #3

    “I enjoy being a girl,” sang Bruce as he admired his new manicure. Slam! The bedroom door flew open. It was Kris. She was livid, clutching the latest issue of “Paparazzi Weekly.” She flung the tabloid at him. On the cover were two photos—him strolling the beach in a silky robe, and her jogging without…

  • Some Recent Infatuations

    What’s on my mind lately? The following:   *The Instagram account, “Rich Kids of Tehran.”  These wealthy brats make the cast of The Shahs of Sunset look tame, and definitely shatter the image of bleak Iran (and a lot of the guys are dreamy!)   *Speaking of hot… Actor Louis Garrel is bewitching in Saint Laurent, the…

  • Give Her a Hand!

    British pop singer FKA Twigs (and love interest of actor Robert Pattison) caused a buzz on the red carpet earlier this week at the Met Gala, wearing a dress that included a cartoon penis. But what struck me is that the cartoon arm on the dress resembles our stage backdrop (by artist Alexander Kaletski.)        Hopefully, Ms.…