Caitlyn’s Lexus sputtered to a halt, the gas gauge on empty. She was still a few blocks away from Candis’ home. The two were having a slumber party, and Caitlyn was dressed flirtatiously in a short satin kimono robe. “Guess I’ll have to walk,” she muttered, not looking forward to a stroll in her spikey…

“Group hug!” yelled Caitlyn. On cue, she and her trans posse—Candis, Chandi and Blossom—cuddled in the dressing room of a Hollywood strip club. They were all dressed in peekaboo lingerie, ready to be filmed for a new episode of I Am Cait. “I’m shaking like a leaf,” confessed Caitlyn. “But exploring my female sensuality is…

“What did you think?” asked Caitlyn. She and her trans “sisters” Candis Cayne and Laverne Cox had just watched the debut of “My Name is Cait” in a screening room at E! studios. “Very affirming,” said Laverne. “You’re helping demystify the trans experience.” “Whatever,” muttered Candis, rolling her eyes. She put her arm around Caitlyn.…

“My guest tonight is Caitlyn Jenner, making his—I mean her—first appearance on FOX News,” said Sean Hannity. He was smirking, and his mix-up was obviously on purpose. “As a fellow Republican I’m pleased to be here,” answered Caitlyn. “Did you say fellow?” chuckled Sean. Caitlyn grinned, but she wasn’t happy. Why was he making fun…

Eddie Murphy sorted through the day’s mail—bills, invites, and the new copy of Vanity Fair with a foxy covergirl showing off her perky breasts. He gasped when he realized it was Bruce Jenner. “Call Me Caitlyn” was the coverline. “He” was now a “she.” “Damn right I’m gonna give you a call,” thought Eddie, as…

“Please welcome very special guest Bruce Jenner,” said RuPaul. Bruce smiled bright from the judges’ table, then fixed his eyes on the runway. This week’s challenge was “Bikini Madness.” Pearl came out first. “Your thong looks ass-tatstic,” bellowed Michelle Visage. Damn right, thought Bruce. Underneath the table, he slid open the slit of his maxi…