KIDDING! Sigh…


It’s been so nice to see the vast outpouring of love and affection over the past few days for my dearly departed friend Sweetie. Some very moving and wonderful tributes. She loved playing the momma role and she had a lot of kids.
She and I were more like sisters. We laughed, gossiped, collaborated and whored around together. We had our spats too, but they were trivial. Most of all we had a lot of mutual respect for each other, which is always a sign of a good friendship.
Did you know she died on her late mom’s birthday? She adored her mom… So it was no coincidence that she left us when she did.
All my thoughts right now are filled with memories of Sweetie.
We had one hell of a time together…

 

I was going to get together with my friend Sweetie yesterday. But it was not to be. She died the night before.

Her death was not a complete surprise. She had been bravely battling cancer for a few years and the end was near. But she did leave earlier than expected.

I wrote a quickly put together notice about her death for the WOW Report.

She and I knew each other for 26 years and I am very saddened.

 

Caitlyn Jenner steered her Porsche into the underground garage. Waiting for her was the maid, Teresa.
“Greetings señora,” she said, “Come with me.”
She let Caitlyn to the mansion’s living room with its stunning view of the Hollywood Hills. Sitting on the couch in a floral-patterned caftan was a woman with incredibly frizzy hair. But where was Richard?
“Caitlyn, don’t you recognize me? It’s Richard Simmons! But now you can call me Fiona!”
“Oh my God! Is that the big news you wanted to share with me?”
“Yes, it is!” shrieked Fiona as she jumped up and pulled down her caftan. “How do you like my new boobies?”
“Wow, they’re even bigger than mine! Is this why you’ve been hiding from the public?”
“You’re darn tootin it is! But I’m coming back! Gonna do the big reveal on April 26th. The public is going to go nuts!” Fiona started twirling around the room.
Caitlyn gasped. “But that’s the same date that my autobiography The Secrets of My Life is being released! You’ve got to change your plans.”
“Forget it! Barbra Streisand is introducing me at my press conference. I’m over the moon!”
“Listen, Fiona. I’m America’s number one trans woman and there’s no way you’re going to upstage me.”
“Honey, you’re yesterday’s news. Move over, bitch, ‘cause it’s time for me to fly!”
“Why you little…!” Caitlyn charged towards Fiona, knocking her to the ground. “I’ll kill you!” she screamed as she grabbed her by the neck. Fiona frantically struggled to get free… She was going to die!
Bong!
Caitlyn went limp to the ground. Fiona looked up to see Teresa holding a frying pan.
“Teresa, you saved me! You’ve always been my protector!”
Teresa sneered. “Stop with the sap, you worm. You know what to do.”
“Yes, mommy,” obediently whispered Fiona. She crawled over to the maid and began licking her stiletto heel. As always, Teresa was in charge…

 

Yesterday before my Bingo gig, I stopped by Love Shine, the wonderful gift and accessories store in the East Village.

It was a bittersweet visit—After many years in business, the store is closing due to a rent increase.

 

With owner Mark Seamon.

 

But you can still buy Love Shine merchandise. They’re shifting their businees to the Internet. Check ’em out!

 

Last night I went to The Legend of Yma Sumac, a multi-media tribute to the Peruvian diva, who was famed for her operatic singing voice.

 

Yma!

 

Directed by Steve Willis, the show weaves historical film footage and lipsynching musical numbers performed by stunningly beautiful drag performer Scarlet Envy (who’s also very sweet, damn her!)

 

Director Steve Willis and Scarlet Envy.

 

The show is great! A visual and aural delight!

You can still it. The final show is on March 29th.